Recently heard in our house:

1.  As we were driving through a not-so-nice area of town:  "Mommy, we are SO in the gecko!"  

2.  Me: "Kendall, did you dig a hole in the nice new grass in our backyard?"
     Kendall: "No, the dogs did it!"
     Me: "And they used your shovel that is in the hole?"
     Kendall: "No silly. Dogs can't use shovels."

     Busted.

3.  Kendall: "I am SO tired of cleaning up after my girls!"
     Me: "why is it you clean up after them but not after yourself very often?"
     Kendall: "because I'm their mom and you're mine and that's what moms do. Be happy you don't     have THREE kids like I do."
     Me:  "Thank god for small favors"

4.  "Mommy, don't worry, I would NEVER put one of my American Girl dolls in the fire."  Um, okay.